Discouraged and Disheartened

Please note: Bad things are ahead. Sexual harassment and worse are mentioned and discussed. 

First, I was amazed and horrified with the attacks that Anita Sarkeesian was taking for her (wildly successfully funded) Kickstarted project, Tropes vs. Women in Video Games. Just the idea that she might be forming an opinion on the subject was enough to enrage the trolls with less maturity than most 13 year olds; she hadn't even done anything yet, and she was receive vile and disgusting threats.

Then, I was disgusted to read that the Skepchicks were under attack, and it went so far as for someone to ask the question "is it immoral to rape a Skepchick?" Because, the questioner says, "they're so annoying." Rape as punishment for women who annoy you. Wow.

Today I read on John Scalzi's blog that more harassment at ReaderCon had raised still more controversy. Apparently, the con has a zero-tolerance policy for harassment, and someone was in fact booted from the conference. However, he was not booted for life, as their own policy states, but only for 2 years.

*sigh*

I am so tired and so depressed and saddened to hear about all this, within the space of a couple months. And while I don't want to muddy the waters with politics, too, it does seem to be a common theme. Women are under attack. Why? No, really. Why?

When I've had this conversation with my husband, he's offered the suggestion that (particularly in the political arena) that this is the last violent, gasping attack from a mindset that is out-moded and out of touch with the 21st century. With regards to the nerds and the geeks and the skeptics, women are "invading" their territories in increasing numbers. Women read comics, we play video games, we're atheists and scientists and philosophers. We no longer accept the "No Gurlz Alowd" signs on the doors of their clubhouses, and they feel threatened.

I can't really argue with his idea. He is a guy, and I'm not. Just like he can't truly understand what it's like to know that sexual harassment, abuse, and rape are a fact of life for me - simply because I'm female. I can't speak for all women, I am not all women, I am not even representative of all white 40something women. I can only speak for myself when I say, I don't want to take over your space, hang lacy curtains on the windows and make you drink tea, I just want to hang out, play some games and eat pizza out of the box.

Here's the thing: I like nerdy guys. I like your weird obsessions, your utter disregard for fashion and your sometimes bizarre non sequiturs that make me laugh. I like your intelligence and your ability and willingness to imagine anything under the sun. Here's what I don't like: the 13-year-old mentality where Tits or GTFO! in response to anything, or the behavior where it seems normal to plaster obscene images on someone's blog or website, simply because they have an opposing opinion.

Whenever we shrug off someone's bad behavior, refuse to call them on their shit, we're giving them permission to do it again, and we're showing their fellows that we're not going to call anyone out, so they can do similar things. If you see something, say something. If it happens to you, report it. Stand up for what's right and decent.

Unfortunately, I know it's not going to change, at least not in the immediate future. I feel reasonably brave posting this little rant, because this blog of mine hasn't gained a following yet, so I don't have to deal with trolls. I would like to think I'd still have the courage to speak my mind even if there were trolls to handle, but the hate and the vitriol can be a lot to take... Honestly, I am exhausted from all the second-hand hate. I'm not being colorful, I'm serious: all this stuff I've been reading has made me exhausted. "So quit reading it!" Because that will make it go away? No. No, if I go offline to recover from all this, I'd miss stories like Star Wars Katie's mom's new book. Or the zombie walk that counter-protested the Westboro Baptist Church's protest of a military funeral. Not only would I miss stories like that, but denying the problem, ignoring it, helps no one, especially not the women who are in the cross-hairs, when I could just as easily be the next target. Why me? "Female" seems to be excuse enough for the attackers...

Update: An article about the harassment in gaming is in the New York Times.

Felicia Day Is Not a Booth Babe

I don't consume a lot of news. It's biased, depressing, and largely irrelevant to my life. I get the highs and lows via various internet outlets, and when something catches my attention, I'll dig a little deeper. This election year has been particularly heinous, with the GOP and their apparent war on women. (Great quote I saw yesterday: “VAGINA. Can’t say it? Don’t legislate It.”) All this news makes me mad, and makes me want to punch people with Y chromosomes, so it's best I don't steep myself in it too much, since you know, married...

Since I started the Plastic Heroines blog, I've discovered some new webcomics, one of which is Gyno-Star by Rachel Cohen. Her overtly feminist message is not my usual fare, but it's going to take a loud voice to be heard over the Republican cacophony. Most of the webcomics I read do not have any particular political commentary, so I was a little surprised when I read this morning's Two Lumps, and had to dig deeper to get the rest of the story.

I'd never heard of Ryan Perez, or Destructoid, but I don't need to know who he is or who he worked for to know he's a tool. Felicia Day is not a Booth Babe. FFS, really, dude? Have you watched The Guild? She created that, she's not just the window dressing. Sure she's cute, but does that mean she's not to be taken seriously? Hasn't added anything to this industry, huh? I think her career will last longer than yours, Perez, you jackass.

Unfortunately, this is just one more thing in a sea of BS and misogyny. I really don't know what the hell is going on, but as a woman, and as a mother of a teenaged daughter, I don't like it. Between the various religious-leaning elected nutjobs trying to legislate my groin and the violent verbal threats (and worse) against Anita Sarkeesian (who has the audacity to have an opinion on gender stereotypes in video games), I'm starting to feel a little unwelcome on this rock. I'm starting to feel like Superia isn't all wrong, after all. Some men are trying to divert the accusations of misogyny by saying that they have to deal with gender stereotyping, too. So that makes it ok to stereotype and discriminate against women?? Misandry (which Blogger thinks is misspelled, but has no problem with misogyny) isn't any less wrong than misogyny, but a key difference is that a lot more men are physically attacking women than women are attacking men. Tell you what, guys, when you live in constant fear of violence against yourself or your daughter, then you can talk to me about rough you have it.

I've never considered myself a particularly strong feminist. I don't like politics, I just want to live my life without other people telling me what and how and when to do that. I usually regard feminism as freedom of choice -- choice to be a mom, working mom or child-free career woman. Feminism has (to me) meant options. If I didn't want to be an at-home mom, I wouldn't have to be, because I have options. But women have been tricked into believing that we can have everything. News flash: We can't. There aren't enough hours in the day, and something, somewhere, has to be sacrificed.

I know good men. I am married to one, have one for a father. I know they're out there; good, strong, intelligent men who value women as friends, partners, and mates. I know good women, who are neither strident man-hating feminists nor passive yea-saying doormats. These voices are being drowned out, and some days...

I know this was kind of a long, jumbled and somewhat off-topic post. I deleted a bunch of stuff, so if you think this was angry-sounding, you should have read what got deleted...But now I'm back from a week out of town, so will be back to work on the Heroines list. 
 

Referential Links Re: Day/Booth Babe
At CNN: It's probably not wise to be a jerk to Felicia Day
At the Examiner: Ryan Perez fired from Destructoid after maliciously tweeting Felicia Day

Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves

One theme in comics is the idea that if only women were running things, it'd all be swell. Superia formed her group the Femizons to remake the world with this idea in mind. Nicole Hollander is credited with the quote "Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of fat, happy women!" A variation of that was in the dialog of a Living Single episode. Synclaire asked Khadijah "But did you ever stop to think about what the world be like without men?" who replied "A bunch of fat happy women and no crime!" (Khadijah, of course, was played by Queen Latifah, who's famously plus-sized herself.) 

I will admit, there's been times that I've thought the same. But to believe that, you have to assume that women are non-violent, ever-logical and inherently peaceful. This is demonstrably not the case. We are human, we are prone to making poor decisions just like our male counterparts, and whether we admit it or not, hormones do play a role in our behavior. (What the guys don't know, or don't want us to know is, their own hormones cycle just like ours. The difference is, their hormones follow a 24-hour cycle, instead of a monthly one.) You could make the argument that, because of this, men are much more likely to be on the same page with one another during the course of a day, where women, who don't all follow a perfect 28-day cycle, are potentially at odds with one another. (Menstrual synchrony studies have produced wildly differing results. It's an interesting idea, but one that has not been conclusively proven.) But I digress...

In my personal observations of women, myself included, I am forced to state that women would not make inherently better world leaders than men. Frankly, I think we'd ƒµ¢|< up just as badly as the men do, but in different ways. (No, I will not give up my Girl Card; unpopular truths are still truths.)

Saying things other woman may not like doesn't make me less of one.

My husband and I have had a number of spirited discussion on the nature of women and men, politics and rights. There have been many times we've had to agree to disagree. We're coming at the topics from our own points of view, and that is colored by who we are as individuals as well as by our gender. And no matter how sympathetic we might each be to the opposite sex's point of view, we simply cannot truly understand the fe/male experience without living it. Added to that, I have some significant hot-button issues that I am not capable of being objective about, no matter how hard I try. The fact that I can acknowledge that makes me (usually) think a little more before I open my mouth and say something really inflammatory and turn a conversation into an argument. (No doubt he'd disagree, but there again, he can't understand just how much restraint I'm exercising, can he?)

ANYWAY... Back to the Femizons. The Femizons were a group of women assembled by an evil genius, Superia. Superia is pretty sure that a world ruled by women would be better than the one presently ruled by men, particularly on her Earth in her timeline. You see, Marvel Comics has multiple Earths. It's all pretty confusing, but Superia (real name Dr. Dierdre Wentworth) learns that she is the ancestor of a race of Amazons in a different timeline than "this" one (Earth-616) where we are. Naturally, she decides to try to bring about that same reality on this world, and gathers an army of ethically flexible females to help her bring it about.

This is wrong-headed on several levels, the first of which I have already touched on. But another flaw in Superia's plan is that she's recruited criminals to be part of -- founders of, really -- this new female-dominated society. Now, on the one hand, it makes some sense. You're going to want women who are not inclined to defer to men, strong women who won't take crap from anyone. On the other, you don't have to be a thug to be strong. And when loyalty can be purchased at the right price, it doesn't seem like the best foundation for trust and cooperation.

However wrong-headed it is, I am currently fascinated by the whole idea of the Femizons. Fortunately, to read up on the storyline, I don't have to hunt up hundreds of comics to get the full story. "The Superia Strategem" is a 6-issue miniseries in Captain America starting with #386 (1991). (Thank you, eBay...)

What I hope to do, because I need more projects, is to create the Femizons roster -- some 40+ women -- by customizing action figures. Many of the characters appear in only a few comic book issues. Add to the sparse appearances of these characters, they are also villains AND female, so they don't have action figures already, meaning that if I want to have the Femizons roster, I'll have to make them myself. The good news is, loose female figs can be had. (I don't want to buy minty carded ones because A. they're more expensive, B. some collector might want them and C. they're more expensive.) The bad news is, I am an utter novice at figure customization. And by "novice" I mean all I've done previously with toy customs is to repaint the eye color and tone down the lipstick on a Barbie doll. But there's more positive news: a good friend of mine does G.I. Joe custom figs and will be able to give me advice -- huzzah! So, once my 21 year old comic books and the box of loose women* arrive, I'll be able to take a closer look at the various characters and determine who will make the easiest first custom and find the right base figure for her. 

I'm pretty sure that this is one of the more insane projects I've ever taken on. I mean, I don't have room to display all the figures I have now, let alone someplace to display 40 more. (I have some thoughts on that, though, so not an insurmountable issue.) If you read my other blog at all, Creative Miscellany, you know I have incredibly varied interests and a wretchedly short attention span. I have many dozens of UFOs† and WIPs‡ in varying stages of completion, starting anything new without finishing some of the old is madness, really. Which sort of proves my suggestion that this is one of the more insane projects I've taken on...

* In joke.
† UnFinished Objects
‡ Works In Progress